Addicted to Love

Help.
I’m having trouble understanding why I am still with / back with my abusive alcoholic boyfriend. I say it’s so when I leave this time it will be for good. I tell people its so I can say I tried again and you didn’t change. I say it’s because I love him. When he drinks I hate him. He is drinking more and more lately. We have been getting along worse. He doesn’t tell me when he is upset over something i’m doing because I try and say I am doing my best.

I know you do this by posting pics, but I don’t want him finding out about this in anyway for fear of what he may do.  I am sending another pic from my phone via email that I just took I will also send one of him passed out taken tonight.

Please don’t post my name or any identifying information
Also if you decide to use my letter please email me and let me know. I don’t know how to follow people very well on here and I don’t want to miss it.
Help!
~~~~

Dear Help,
We will let you know when we post our response on the blog.  In the meantime please know that there is help for you, you can do this.  You deserve a better life and you can have it.  You have to take the first step,  It will be the hardest, but it will also open the door to the bright and beautiful future that is waiting for you.

Julie Theroux

Julie Theroux

Warm regards,

Julie

~~~

~~~

Hi Help -

Oh dear. This is one of the toughest situations to be in. Your alcoholic boyfriend has moments of incredible sweetness I’ll bet. And he showers you with all you desire when he’s in a good place. And then the demons set in.

You are not alone. Millions of people are in your shoes. You may have some level of addiction to his problem. You feel “needed,” you have a soft heart and want to “fix him.’ or you believe some day, if only you can convince him – he will change.

Face it Darlin’ – he ain’t changing. Period. Not until HE wants to change. Not until HE figures out he NEEDS to change. Not until HE figures out there’s a better way to deal with his own troubles and addictions. Been in your shoes. Done that. Lost a brother to it.

What can you do? Go to Al Anon – and find a meeting near you. Today. Now. Right NOW. Have them help you get away from him. Have them show you the way to deal with your own anxieties and issues that keep you locked into him. If you aren’t willing to make that call, then you aren’t willing to fix this. Think of it this way: you are helping him by leaving. Occasionally people will wake up when they start losing people they love. Not always. But it may work with him. Or it may not.

More importantly — getting away from him is the first step in YOU determining why YOU want to do this to yourself. Life is precious. It moves by so quickly. There’s no medal for sticking by a guy who won’t help himself. You don’t get extra points in heaven. You aren’t looked upon by other people as a hero. Most of your friends secretly think you’re an idiot for standing by him.

Some alcoholics aren’t violent. Some become violent later in life. Some are downright dangerous. Don’t stick around to find out. YOU are important. YOUR LIFE is important. And YOU need to take care of you.

Sometimes unconditional love is better from a far…

You say “I am doing my best.” NO. YOU AREN’T.  “Doing your best” would be getting the hell outta dodge. How long do you think you’ve got on this spinning blue planet? Good Lord. You say he is drinking more and getting worse? And you are still there? Get over yourself. You aren’t “doing something important by loving him no matter what.” Sometimes unconditional love is better from a far…

Again – get hold of a local Al Anon chapter. Go to an abused women’s shelter. Get away now. It won’t get any better. And we may be reading about you in the paper.

You are right — this isn’t the kind of letter we usually get. And we didn’t need to see his picture to tell you what to do. There are so many people out there in the world standing by to help you. Don’t wait another minute. Get going. Stop reading this and get going.

Please write us back from the shelter and tell us you are OK.

Beth Terry

Take care,

Beth

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Filed under stress, Watch out!

Opposites Attract

Dear Beth & Julie,
I met a man while traveling in Africa and we spent a lot of time together and became very close.  Since I have returned to the states we email or texted each other several times a week.  He is from Rwanda and now lives in Tanzania.  I enjoy my conversations with him, he is smart (speaks 4 languages), funny, sweet, attentive, etc… I’m wondering if you see any potential between the two of us.    Thanks so much.  Love your blog!!!

Julie

Hi Julie,

Thanks so much for writing.  I have looked at the photos you provided and have to say that this is a case of “opposites attract”.  As you can imagine, this can be a great thing, but when you clash, you will really be opposed to each other.   My advice to you is to give it a lot of time, learn everything you can about how you are together, before you think about committing to make this a more permanent relationship.

Your eyes show that you are extremely sensitive.  You connect with the inner soul of a person, and you live inside of yourself much of the time.  You are optimistic in your outlook.   He is more pessimistic in the way he sees things – the cup is half empty.  He is an extrovert, you are more of an inner person.  This is one of the reasons you enjoy your conversations with him. He shows that he does enjoy learning, but may fall short on follow through.  You are very particular about seeing things through to completion.  He gets distracted and starts many things at once.  You like to have order and work on only those things that you know you can handle and finish.  You are stubborn.  He is more stubborn.

Also, Julie – he shows that he is under an extraordinary amount of stress as seen in the photo below.  Be sure to investigate what the cause is for this high level of anxiety:

Take your time, get to know everything about him.  Time is the most important thing you have to let you know if your opposite is who you are meant to be with for the long term.

Best wishes,

Julie

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Filed under Communication, dating, Online Dating, Relationships

Facing The Fountain Of Youth

Hi, Beth and Julie!

I’ve been reading information on your website about faces for about a week or so now. I haven’t really seen any information addressing people who specifically have youthful or child like faces. I often am mistaken for ten years younger than what I am. My mother and my grandmother both have the same experiences. When the three of us go out together people often mistake me and my mom for sisters and my grandma as being our mother. Is this a good thing as far as face reading goes and if not what should I do about it?

Daniellie

Hi Daniellie,

It’s A GREAT thing!  People spend thousands of dollars trying to find that fountain of youth in a bottle.  You were blessed to have a youthful, never-aging appearance through genetics!  So what does it mean from a face reading viewpoint to retain childlike qualities in your facial features?

Look at a baby’s face, with the big, round eyes, the small upturned nose, the big full lips.  There have been few external incidents that have influenced their appearance.  That is where it begins – a blank canvas, upon which the experiences of our lives are painted until the day we die.  Facial features are inherited genetically and are shaped and molded by parental example in your early home experience  Two-thirds of the basic characteristics result from behaviors adopted during childhood.  The remainder is developed in the adult years.

Your features show that you retained the characteristics from your childhood.  Your eyes show that you are curious and optimistic. Your full cheeks mean you have a never-ending energy supply.  You have dimples and that means you have a fun-loving sense of adventure, not to mention a great sense of humor.  Your round chin reveals you work best in groups – you love to be around people and doing things for people.  Your nose tips up and this means you are spontaneous and live in the moment.  You have a “if it feels good, do it” attitude.  What’s the downside of this feature?  You might have a tendency to spend money like it’s never going to run out.

“Youth is a quality, and if you have it, you never lose it”

Frank Lloyd Wright

Nothing is more beautiful than the brilliance of a human soul, which radiates through the face.  The face of a child is painted with wonder and enthusiasm.  This is a very powerful connection with all of humanity.  You have all of the youthful qualities and attitudes of your Mother and Grandmother, and this is their gift to you.

Julie

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Filed under Face Reading Info, Family Matters

Why Online Dating Doesn’t Always Work

Beth Terry

I asked Julie why so many have had such bad luck with internet dating. Approximately 40 million of us are on online dating sites. Only 1/3 find love, and the data is still out on whether or not those relationships last any longer than the accidental ones.  Here’s Julie’s Answer:

Face Reading Reveals Your Best Chances For Love!

Stop Looking On The Internet…

More and more people are trying to find love through matchmaking sites on the internet.  The real attraction begins when they have their first face-to-face meeting.  The magnetism of the attraction between two faces cannot be duplicated by looking at a photo or through any other means.  Why is that?  It is because the face itself  offers a wealth of information about your potential lover’s character.  Add expressions to the mix, and you will not have to apply that costly trial and error method of finding out who the person really is and that could take forever if you are trying to do that over the internet.

Face reading, also known as physiognomy, has been practiced in many forms throughout the ages.  According to the original  school of thought, facial characteristics reveal a person’s entire history, personality and destiny.  What each face reveals is there for the world to see.  In the face lies those individual traits that are so necessary to know about one we would love.  There are hundreds of features that are read on the face, and we will discuss some of the easy to read features here.

The shape of the face says something about the general character of a person.  To determine the shape of someone’s face as you are looking at them, imagine one of the shapes described below and insert it over the face.  You will begin to recognize these easily as you practice.

A round face belongs to an easy-going, good-natured individual who loves the comforts of life, physical comforts, the touch and feel of things and good food.  People with round faces, generally speaking, are good lovers because they are very concerned with the feelings and emotions of others.

A square face reflects a strong, firm character and maybe a temper.  People with this shape are usually leaders and fighters.  You will usually see this face shape in sports and law enforcement.  They are candid in both business and love and have strong desires for success.

An oblong face (or oval) belongs to a lover who will be a success in life.  This shape is often seen among those in positions of power.  People with an oval face shape are strong personalities, and often have an attitude that they deserve the best.

You may have heard the expression that the eyes are the window to the soul.  That’s because, they are the most telling feature on anyone’s face.  Eye contact says far more than words can ever say.  Whether or not you have studied face reading, you are well aware there is an indescribable something which passes between two people’s eyes when they meet.  One of the first things you may notice when looking at the eyes, is the gaze of your lover.  A steady e is ideal.  Shifty or unsteady gazes indicate that the person needs to develop more dependability.  They need to direct their inner energy toward more constructive use and need to avoid impulsive actions, especially against others.

The size of the eyes reveal emotional openness.  Large eyes mean that your lover is very sensitive.  The larger the eyes, the more sensitive he or she is.  Small eyes indicate steadiness in your lover.

When you look at someone’s eyes, you can determine if the person as the same general outlook on life as you have by noticing if the eyes are set close together or wide apart.  Think of the average distance between eyes as the length of one eye.  People with close eyes tend to be very exact in their lives.  They focus on the details in order to draw conclusions.  In the extreme, these can be people who are narrow-minded.

In general, people with widely spaced eyes tend to be more broad-minded.  They belong to a person with the capacity to dramatically broaden his or her horizons without too much effort.   In the extreme, they can be very spacey and will forget details.

Lips reveal your potential lover’s sensuality. People with thinner lips tend to get right to the point. Don’t expect a lot of extra love play from this person.  When he or she says, “I love you,” it has meaning!  They get to the point in conversation and bed.

People with thick lips (upper and lower) are more giving of self.  They are generous and they are a listener as well as a talker.  They will take time in love and in bed.

No matter whose face you are reading, whether it is your potential lover, a stranger, or a friend – remember to keep these points in mind.  No matter what you see on a face, its owner wants to feel loved and worthwhile.  So, when you greet someone, especially for the first time, look the other person in the eye and pay attention.  Your eye contact will show up as magnetism and will draw the other person towards you.

Love is an irresistible force. True love will walk in and you will recognize it – not through the internet, but by a face-to-face encounter.  By using the face reading techniques described here, you’ll surprise yourself with your growing ability to express your own love, to avoid mistakes, and to find your perfect match.

Julie Theroux

Julie Theroux

Good Luck!

It’s worth the hunt!

Julie

© 2010 Julie Theroux, FaceitDarlin.com All Rights Reserved.

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War Between the Sides

Hi Julie and Beth!

I came across your blog completely by accident and I am now totally
fascinated!

Aside from being fascinated by how much of our life is displayed to the
world, I also realised that what I thought was a change in my face as a
consequence of weight gain/hormones with my most recent pregnancy is not due to that at all!

The difference between the left and right sides of my face is quite
significant, but this has actually only been the case for the last two
years.  I really don’t like it!

I have attached two photos (please accept my permission to publish all of
it), and I would be most intrigued to know what my face tells you, but

equally, I would dearly love to know if there is anything I can do to
change it back!

Regards,

PS Some basic information about me: I am 30 years old, married, have four
children, and run my own business.

Kate

KateKate 2

Kate

Kate’s Right Side                                                               Kate’s Left Side

~~~~~

Hi Kate –

First, we are assuming that both the pictures you sent were taken at the same time – that these aren’t years apart. We have flipped the images so you can see what your face would look like if your Right side were mirrored on both sides, and then if your Left side were mirrored on both sides.

It’s always fun and instructive to do this. Ever since I learned about Face reading, I’ll find myself taking a piece of paper up to the TV or in a magazine and dividing the faces to see what the left face and eye is telling me, and then the right.

Part of what you are seeing in your face is stress. This isn’t rocket science — I’ve raised a lot of kids while running my own business. And stress will show up on your face, especially after several years of going non-stop. So that’s the non-scientific commentary here.

Your eyebrows tell me you like to focus on one or two things at a time. And your PS tells me you aren’t able to do that. So you have an internal war going on. What works for you naturally isn’t available. But you have an innate patience, so you are taking all this one step at a time and plowing through.

Since your Right side is the dominant side – your intellect is what you are counting on to pull you through this difficult time. You are not spending a lot of time on your emotional life, and you may be draining yourself. That side of you needs nourishment, too. You can’t take care of your babies if you don’t take care of Kate.

There’s a telltale sign in your lips. The right side of your mouth is higher than your left. You are showing the world you can do this. Your emotional side isn’t so sure. It’s angled down. Your mouth also shows that you are more interested in doing things than talking about them. And your chin says you are a determined, and assertive woman. And when you tell people something, you mean what you say.

As for what you can do to get your face back into balance: start with your emotional life. You show that you give your personal/emotional side energy from time to time. But it’s in bursts. Then you have to back off. Your Right Side (Business side) shows that you are steady and methodical with your business, so you don’t need to take as many breaks. You just work till it’s done.

Take some Kate time. Dedicate little chunks here and there during the day, and then one day a week, get away with your sweetie or with girlfriends and recharge your batteries. You can also try Facercise*. I’ve been doing Face Exercises for years. It’s a great exercise that gets blood circulating in my face and helps me get relaxed again. Who knows, it may help and it’s fun. I do my exercises while in the shower, or while driving. ;-D It looks weird, but I don’t know those people in the next car!

* Oh – Here’s Info on that book: Carole Maggio Facercise: The Dynamic Muscle-Toning Program for Renewed Vitality and a More Youthful Appearance (Revised, Updated)

Let us know if this helped!

Beth

Beth Terry

© 2010 FaceItDarlin.com, Beth Terry Seminars, Julie Theroux

Hi Kate,

Thanks for writing in.  Beth’s read of your photo is right on the money!  And there is a lot of great information for you to consider.  I can add a couple of things.  Your right side is your “business side”.  In this photo, you show that you are not looking at something on the business side.  You are seeing things with a narrow focus and not getting the whole picture.  There are opportunities for you now that will expand your business into new areas.  Maybe it seems too risky, maybe it takes some investment on your part, but you do show some fear in moving forward on the business side.  My suggestion is to visualize where you want to be one year from now.  What does that look like?  Then, keep that picture in your mind as you go about your daily business.  You will begin to see more opportunities and think outside of the box.

Also, your left side is your personal side.  Here, you show that you have some interests, hobbies or talent that could make money.  Look into expanding this into a business also.

Best wishes,

Julie

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Filed under Change, Face Reading Info, Relationship Balance, stress

Mea Culpa – WE are Back!

Hi Face Partners. Thank you for your patience and all your emails! Who knew that many people were reading us! First Julie, and then I had some family issues. But we are here and getting back to work. We will pace all the emails that have come in. So please don’t be upset if your question hasn’t been answered just yet. We will try and post one a day to get caught up.

Thanks, Readers, for the nudges and the concerns!!

Beth Terry

Beth

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Filed under Family Matters, stress

Hollywood hasn’t changed Sandra, will Jesse?

Sandra Bullock is America’s Sweetheart. Men want to date her, women want to be her, or at least be her best friend. The Tiger Woods, John Edwards, and even Bill Clinton cheating scandals upset people, but not at the level the Sandra Bullock betrayal has.

One of the things we love about Sandra and what  makes her so attractive is she hasn’t changed in all the years that she has been in Hollywood.  Her fans appreciate that, although she’s ranked the 14th richest celebrity with an estimated fortune of $85 million, she is the same down to earth, positive, energetic Sandra she was over 20 years ago.  Look at the time lapse photo below.   What is on the outside (the face) is a reflection of the inside, and  Sandra shows that she has not changed.  Most people are very different after 20 years of living life, let alone in  Hollywood.   Do you remember the changes you saw in your classmates’ faces after 10 or 20 years?  How has your own face changed?

Sandra’s eyes show that she is forever an optimist. She jumps into anything with a ‘can-do’ attitude.  She doesn’t recognize failure.  It will be interesting to see what affect this has on this personality trait.  With that positive attitude, she probably never saw this coming.

Opposites Attract

So what was it that attracted Sandra to Jesse James?  Jesse, a tattooed biker, owner of West Coast Choppers and ex-husband of an adult film star did not seem to be a likely match for Sandra.  The one thing I noticed was that they have the same face shape, oblong.  This means they both have the same drive to reach the top.  They are both builders of empires.  Jesse is fiercely protective of what he has built.   This ambition could be the source of the instant attraction.  Sandra has a secret.  With that secret comes hidden insecurities. She feels that any day now the world will find out that she is not worthy, and when they do – her world will come crumbling down.   What she finds so attractive about Jesse is that if her world does fall – he will fight for her.  He is her protector.  Little did she know.  What you fear most, you draw to you, especially in a relationship.

“You complete me”

Other than face shape, there are not many similarities between Sandra Bullock and Jesse James.  The announcement of their relationship came as a shock to many people.  Beside the obvious lifestyle choice differences, they are very different people on the inside.  Sandra loves to talk.  Her lips and mouth show that she wants to discuss her feelings and emotions.  She loves to talk about her day and she is very descriptive.  She tells stories and uses lots of words.  Jesse is opposite.  He uses as few words as possible.  His upper lip shows that he will rarely, or never, talk about his emotions and feelings.  Sandra’s nose is long, narrow and straight.  This means that she is a logical, long range thinker and is open to new ideas.  She welcomes others’ insights.  Jesse’s nose is large, has a wide base and angles down at the bottom.  This indicates that he believes in himself and is not open to what others say when it comes to his business.  This was evident if you watched him on the Celebrity Apprentice last year.

Sandra’s eyes reveal that she is open, positive and emotional.  Jesse’s eyes reflect that he has more of a pessimistic outlook, and lives inside of himself.  He is not open and doesn’t trust people until he has known them a long time.  Sandra may also be attracted to this aspect of Jesse.  She trusts easily and gets burned.  Jesse would never let that happen.

Everything that Sandra is, Jesse is not.

Everything that Sandra is, Jesse is not. She was looking to Jesse to complete her.  The same goes for Jesse.  This is never healthy or long lasting in a relationship.  She has to fix her own house first because the fix will not come from another person.  Sandra doesn’t have to reveal her personal secret, she has to come to terms with it, accept it and release it.  She has to learn everything there is to know about it and let it go.  When she does that, she will be able to find true love for the first time in her life.

What do YOU think Sandra will do?

Julie Theroux

Julie Theroux

Julie

© 2010 Julie Theroux, FaceitDarlin.com

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Filed under Celebrity Face Readings

Kate Gosselin – Stressed Much?

OMG – Did you guys see Kate Gosselin’s interview on TV? You had a post a while back about how if you can see the white’s of someone’s eyes, they are stressed? She’s sayin’ that she can handle all the stuff and all 8 kids, but I don’t think so. Can you post her picture and tell us what’s going on? Wow.

Kate G Not happy!

Kate G STRESSED!

R. Texeira

~~~

Great question, RT, and good job in spotting the stress.   Kate does show that she is not handling the stress very well right now – more so than in the past.  I went through many pictures of Kate and the whites under her eyes didn’t show up until recently.    In addition to juggling a busy personal life with eight kids, Kate is going through a very public custody battle and learning to dance on Dancing With The Stars.   I watch that show and the one thing I noticed about Kate Gosselin is that she rarely smiles.  When she does,  the smile is barely longer than a micro-expression (1/8th of a second).   Kate is not happy, and it’s been a long time since she has been.  Looking back through her photos, I see a ‘forced’ smile.  This is when the mouth smiles, but the eyes don’t move, the eyes don’t smile at the same time.  This means someone is just going through the motions.

Not long ago, Kate changed her hairstyle.  She went from a sharp look to a softer style.  In face reading – everything has meaning, even hair do’s.  This was Kate’s first move to find happiness in her life.  Subconsciously, she knew that in order to experience joy, she had to become less argumentative and protective of her inner world.  Part of the difficulty in making this change is that everything she does it photographed and talked about by the paparazzi.   Her bold move to soften her looks through the hairstyle was one way to announce to the world she was ready to change.

Change takes time and it’s apparent when watching her on DWTS that it hasn’t happened yet.  My advice to her would be to change a few more things on her face.   She should use an eyebrow pencil to draw rounded eyebrows (people-focused).  Also, a soft pink lipstick building the upper lip would be helpful.  She would also benefit by using highlighter to give her face a more rounded shape.  Now, you may be thinking, “Julie, you are crazy”.  First, yes I am.  So what.  Second, it is true that you can change what is on the inside by changing the outside.  In addition, just by changing a few features, people see and treat you differently.  This reinforces the perception you have of yourself and your behavior changes to match the perception.  Kate is looking for joy, not love.  She wants to be happy.  She doesn’t know how to go about it.  The change in her hairstyle was a big step in that direction.  Women have the benefit of being able change how others see them through their use of makeup.  Going to a meeting to make a presentation in front of a bunch of CEO’s?  Draw on angled eyebrows.  Selling Mary Kay at a home party?  Make sure those eyebrows are nice and round.  Before you think only women have this advantage, men do the same thing to change how people see them through facial hair – beards, mustaches, side burns all have meaning.  For more information on how these changes affect you, see the article on plastic surgery.
In order for Kate to find true joy and happiness in her life, it’s going to take more than makeup and a new hair cut.  But first things first, she has to take steps to eliminate some of that debilitating stress in her life.  She needs to learn to be in the moment.  Fall in love with the dance and just dance.  Don’t be anywhere else.  Just be with her kids and love what kids do.  Be in the moment – look at the flowers and appreciate the colors. Look at the green trees against the bluest blue sky.  Kate is no different than anyone else.  What you desire, comes to you in many ways.   She wants joy – I guarantee it is showing up in her life in many ways every single day.  She needs to stop, look and listen.  When she does, joy will fill her heart.


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Filed under Celebrity Face Readings, Lying Faces, stress

Face for the Year of the Tiger

Hi Beth and Julie,

Amy

My friend referred me to your site, and I found it so fascinating. Feel free to tell me anything you see. Oh, and the million dollar question- when will I ever find a boyfriend?  =)
And you have my permission to post all or part of the attached picture.
Thanks!
-Amy
~~~
Hi Amy – Thanks for writing in. You have a wonderful face. You are very charming and persuasive. You love talking, but not about your emotions or deep feelings. You are an adventurous person and other people see you as a leader. You like to take charge, and have Tiger eyebrows. You will try new things – if it’s your idea. But you can be stubborn.
I suspect this is your year. The Year of the Tiger loves Tiger faces. You can be very successful if you focus your energies and are able to harness those feelings you hold deep inside. You are young, so you still have some things to learn. But you are the kind of person who pays attention and learns from your mistakes.
Oh – and when will you find a boyfriend? Probably when you stop looking. That’s what seems to happen to all of us. When we focus on our life and interests and forget to “go hunting” – love seems to find us. Patience! I know, it’s hard. Keep an open mind and just put love on the back burner while you find Amy. And write back to us when you meet someone!
I’ll post this because I know you are waiting. Julie will be back soon and she’ll give you her read on it.
Thanks for writing in!
Beth

Beth Terry

Dear Amy,

Beth gave you some excellent insights into your personality and relationships.  I want to add that you haven’t found love yet because you need to complete your mission.  If you fell in love, it would distract you from the task at hand and alter the course of your life forever.  For you right now, at this time in your life, it is not really about the journey – it’s about the destination.  Once you reach your destination, you will be ready for love.  You are a woman on a mission.  This may be a literal mission to other countries, working with children, etc.  This is part of who you are and what you have come here to do.  You will have a lasting positive impact on the lives of others, and from the features on your face, I want to say you will be working primarily with children.  Eventually, you will have to put your journey in writing, but not now.  That comes later, so don’t stress over that.  You come from a long line of healers, many generations in your family have been healers and of course, you are one too .  But with you, this skill is different.  You are more of an activist – speaking for those who cannot speak for themselves (animals, children).

I know you take your goals seriously and you realize that you have important things to do in this life.  You must also balance your time with activities that help you to relax and stop thinking.  Remember, information comes in the space in between the thoughts.  If you are looking for answers, meditate more, take a hike in nature, exercise.    Part of your mission is to take complicated formulas and translate them into easy to understand language.  This may also be associated with quantum physics.  Part of you is very scientific and a bigger part of you is artistic and creative.  In your case, one compliments the other – there is no internal battle.

One thing you can work on is you can be very stubborn.  Once you make up your mind to do something, it is very hard for you to change your mind.  While this is a good personality trait when it comes to your mission (nothing will stop you), in relationships it could be a deal breaker.    Make a plan for the next year, see your destination and go for it.   This world is a better place because you are here.

Julie

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Should I Call Him?

Beth and Julie – I don’t know if this is the right kind of question for you guys. I don’t have this guy’s pic except on my phone. I really like him. We never dated, but I told him I liked him. He just graduated from college. I left college when I was a sophomore so I could work. We are both 24. He’s moving to Florida next week. I’ve texted him and called him and told him I want to see him before he leaves, I mean, I’d move there to be with him if he wanted me to. Should I just call him again or go over there! I want to be with him and he’s not returning my calls! What should I do?

Waiting

~~~

Dear Waiting -

Oh dear sweet girl. How do I tell you this? He is NOT into you. If he were into you, he would have called you back. You would have dated. He would have texted back. I know this is hard to hear. But this isn’t the man for you.

I have to ask you why you would put yourself through this. Why do you not respect and honor yourself enough to want to be with a man who wants to be with you? What is it about this man who does not see you as a love interest that he can take up this much of your precious time? Why would you want to pick up your life and move to a place where you don’t know anyone, only to be rejected on a daily basis? Why would you treat YOU like that?

Some people are not ours to love. I don’t know why. They just aren’t. I can tell you that I have gone to a 20th High School reunion and thanked God that I didn’t end up with the guy that I thought hung the moon. I distinctly remember dancing out in the moonlight outside the assembly hall after seeing him. I was singing, “Thank you Jesus, Thank you Jeeeeeesus!”

He looked like he had swallowed a keg, his wife had given birth to 6 kids and looked like she’d been rode hard and put up wet. They lived in a tiny trailer on the side of town. She had never left town. She just kept poppin’ babies. He was a trucker (and don’t get me wrong, I LOVE what truckers do for the USA. They keep the world movin’…) But HE was a special kind of mess. And he was hhhhhhhot hot hot back when. [note to all my classmates: a few details have been changed to keep me from gettin' tarred and feathered... but you get my drift].

Face it darlin’ – he just doesn’t want you. He doesn’t want to hear from you. That train has already left the station. And it ain’t coming back. Someday down the road you will see him again and you will ask yourself, “What the hell…?”

Julie, you got any more for her?

Beth Terry

Beth

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Dear Waiting,

Treat this situation as if you were counseling a friend.   Put yourself on the other side of the table.  What would you say to your friend if she came to you and told the same story?   You would probably tell your friend to stop trying to push on a door that just isn’t going to open.  You might tell her to walk away!  This is the time in your life when you should focus on you.  What did you originally go to college for?  What are your dreams for the future?  What do you want to do with your life?  I know you said you had to drop out of college because of money.  Where there is a will, there is a way.  I love Wayne Dyer’s book, Excuses Be Gone.  This book will help you to identify those things that are holding you back and to break through denial of your true self.

Chasing after someone who won’t return your calls or text messages tells me that you are desperately  hoping that someone else will come in to solve your problems.  Leaving college may be a big contributor to your low self esteem.  Focus your will, and find a way to move in the direction of your dreams.  That’s when magic will happen in your life.

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